Substitute Protector
by Eliaza
Summary: Munkustrap has taken a leave of absence to visit his family. He's left Misto in charge of helping Alonzo protect the junkyard.
1. Bloody Murder

_This is a fic based on CATS, and also based on the first book in the series 'Hank the Cowdog' by John R. Erickson. I give full credit to Erickson, Andrew Lloyd Webber, RUG, and all that Jazz._

_Bloody Murder_

It's me again, Magical Mr. Mistoffelees. Or Quaxo, to those who know me by my everyday name. I just got some terrible news. There's been a murder in the junkyard.

I know I shouldn't blame myself. I mean, a cat is only a cat. He can't be everywhere at once. When I took this job as Head of Junkyard Security, I knew that I was only flesh and blood, four legs, a tail, a couple of ears, a nose, a couple bushels of black-and-white fur, and a rather cute tuxedo pattern that the queens really go for.

You add all that up and you don't get the Rumpus Cat… You just get me, good old (er…young) easygoing Quaxo who works hard, tries to do his job, and gets very little cooperation from anyone else around here.

I'm not complaining. I knew this wouldn't be an easy job. But _someone _had to step up to it when Munkustrap took an extended leave of absence. I was shocked enough by _that, _but apparently his humans were going on some long trip or other, and just couldn't _bear _to leave him behind. Well, of course Alonzo couldn't protect the junkyard on his own. He's a great tom, but _he's _not the Rumpus Cat any more than I am. So, there we were. I knew this job would take a special kind of cat—strong, fearless, dedicated, and above all, smart. Precious few toms in the 'yard fit the bill. The Rum Tum Tugger was packed with muscle, but not at all dedicated, and probably not very fearless either. An obvious _no. _Coricopat was certainly dedicated, and smart—sometimes _too _smart. He and his sister, Tantomile, have mystical abilities that rather frighten us at times. Still, having a psychic cat on the job might have been good; except Coricopat's not exactly what you'd call _strong. _Asparagus isn't as quick as he used to be. Mungojerrie would be too busy with his own 'business'—if you call thievery a business. Skimbleshanks is gone too often, on railway trips. Pouncival's too young, and too fond of goofing off. Tumblebrutus has great potential, but he's been at his humans' house a lot lately; one of them's sick or something. Admetus was too scared to take on such an important role. And Plato…well, never mind. You get my point. The job fell on my shoulders. It was my destiny. I couldn't escape the broom of history that swept through…well, anyway, I took the job.

Head of Junkyard Security. Ah, I was proud of that title. Just the sound of it made my tail twitch. Alonzo only laughed. "Had to give yourself another title, did you? Magical Mr. Mistoffelees wasn't enough?" All right, I'll admit that Munkustrap didn't _have _a title for the job. I made it up myself. But _I _think it's a rather nice title, and wasn't afraid to tell that arrogant Harlequin so.

But now this, a murder, right under my nose. I know I shouldn't blame myself, but I do.

I got the report this morning around dawn. I had been up most of the night patrolling the northern perimeter of the junkyard, while Alonzo—lazy brute—lay snoring in his den. I had heard some Pollicles yapping up there and I went to check it out. It's not out of the ordinary to hear dogs barking; our Junkyard's just outside the city of London. But I usually don't hear them that close, and I thought it'd be prudent to check. I told Tugger where I was going—it's a dumb idea to go off somewhere without telling _someone, _and I'd noticed him stirring. Then it occurred to me that perhaps I'd better take him _with _me. I doubt if he could've fought off any Pollicles, but if things went bad he could've at least run back to get help. But I didn't even get the chance to ask. He came up lame all of a sudden, said he needed to rest his leg, and limped off. See? Told you that Maine Coon wouldn't fit the job. He only knows shiny belts, ridiculous dance moves, and how to make queens love and hate him at the same time.

I went alone, didn't find anything. I was pretty sure there were dogs near, though they kept out of sight. I figured there were two, maybe three of them. They barked for a couple of hours, making fun of me, calling me ugly names, and daring me to come out and fight.

Well, you know me. I'm no dummy. There's a thin line between heroism and stupidity, and I try to stay on the south side of it. I didn't go out and fight (after all, the dogs weren't actually _doing _anything), but I answered them bark (well, meow) for bark, yap (er, screech) for yap, name for name. Dogs hate to be called _pollicles, _just for the record. Even though that's what they are. I wonder why. The name _Jellicle _never bothered me.

A little before dawn, some human shouted angrily about the noise. Its yelling was ineffective, as yelling is in most cases.

They kept it up and I gave it back to them. But soon after, I heard the sounds of _several _humans (they didn't sound at all happy), and of pollicles yelping in protest. The sounds began to get farther away, and I knew the dogs' owners were dragging them off. _As they should've done about five hours ago. _No matter. "That's right," I yowled mockingly, hoping they could still hear, "run off to your two-legged owners, puppies!" I gave a satisfied nod, and began cleaning my coat. I looked around as I did, surprised that I didn't seem to have disturbed any of the sleeping Jellicles. No one came yowling at me to shut up, anyway. Perhaps they were all too lazy. Well, I finished cleaning myself and came out feeling refreshed and ready to catch up on my sleep. Trotted down to the pipe and found Tugger curled up inside. _What in catnip…? _ "Beat it," I growled. "Make way for the night patrol."

The Maine Coon opened one eye. "Oh, shut up about night patrol," he yawned. "You went chasing after—what, a bunch of noisy dogs who were nowhere near the 'yard?"

"They were _very _near the yard, thank you very much," I hissed. "Might've hurt someone. What's with you, anyway? Don't you have your _own _den?"

"Caved in," he shrugged.

"Oh, caved in, did it?" I was _really _getting mad; I mean, I was beyond annoyed now. "What if I told you that that's what your big, fluffy _head _is going to do if you don't _move _it?"

"Ooh, getting physical now, eh?" Tugger smirked. "Why don't you just zap me with a lightning bolt or something? With your aim, you'd better shoot at the oven; then maybe you'd hit me."

"Leave my magic out of this," I snarled.

"Okay." He closed his eyes again. And actually _turned his back to me._ _That tom is unbelievable! _

Obviously he didn't want to move. So I went to sterner measures; put some claws in him. I couldn't resist; his rump was _right there… _And I'd always wanted a chance to put Tugger in his place… That moved him out, and he gave me a last glare before he swaggered off. He didn't show any signs of lameness either. I have an idea that where the Tugger is lamest is between his ears.

I crawled into my pipe and lay back with a sigh. Oh, that felt good! I hooked my paws behind my head and stuck my back legs up in the air so that they touched the ceiling of the pipe. I closed my eyes and had some wonderful twitching dreams about…well, I don't recall exactly the subject matter, but most likely they were about Victoria.

What a queen! Makes my heart pound just to think about her. Beautiful pure-white fur, big blue eyes, cute little nose, and nice ears that twitch when she's excited.

Only trouble is that she's crazy about this patched tom, without a doubt the ugliest, dumbest, worthlessest tom I ever met. What could be uglier than a cream-furred cat with dull, ginger-colored blotches all over him? And what could be dumber or more worthless than a tom who dances like a _queen _half the time? No joke. Though I guess he's just been badly influenced by Tugger, as have most toms. But that's beside the point.

His name's Plato. Now you see why _he _wouldn't have fit my job? His poor mother, whoever she was, named him after some human philosopher. If she'd only known. He's got about the mental range of a teaspoon, let alone philosophy. He thinks he's pretty hot stuff. What really hurts, though, is that Victoria seems to agree.

Don't understand that queen, but I dream about her a lot.

Anyway, where was I? In the pipe, _my _pipe, catching up on my sleep. All at once Victoria's little sister Etcetera was beside me, jumping up and down and giving off that high-pitched squeal of hers that kind of bores into your eardrums. You can't ignore her when she does that.

Well, I peeled open one eye, kept the other one shut so that I could get some halfway sleep. "Will you please shut up?" I'm usually nicer to queens, a _lot _nicer, honest! In fact, if I'd stopped to think for a second, I probably would've thought twice about snapping at the sister of my (would-be) _one true love. _But I was tired. And she was _annoying. _

"Quaxo, oh _Quaxo, _it's just terrible, you wouldn't believe, hurry and wake up, I saw his tracks over there, get up before he escapes!" The cream, tawny and grey tortoiseshell stopped to catch her breath, thrusting her paw in the direction from which I'd come just a short time earlier. _That _got my attention well enough.

I peeled open the other eye, pushed myself up, and went nose-to-nose with the noisemaker. We _needed _to start having some sense of order around this Junkyard. Beginning with this kit. "Quit hopping around. Quit making all that racket. Hold still and state your business." The little queen cocked her head to the side, as if considering this.

"Okay, Quaxo, all right, I'll try." She tried and was none too successful, but she _did _get the message across. "Oh Quaxo, there's been a killing, right here in the junkyard, and you slept through it! You and Alonzo both! Why did Munkustrap ever leave?" she wailed, wringing her paws in despair.

"Huh?" I was coming awake by then, and the word _killing _sent a jolt clean out to the end of my tail. "Who's been killed?" Not Victoria! _Maybe Plato…?_

"They got to the mice, Quaxo. You know, Jenny's mice, the ones _no one _is allowed to mess with? She's been teaching them—well, anyway, I don't know how they got into the little den Jenny made them, but they did, broke in there and killed one of those little mice, and oh, the _blood!" _The last word came out as a shriek, and she just sat there wringing her paws. I relaxed a bit then. At least it hadn't been a Jellicle killed. At least it hadn't been Victoria…And what was a little mouse, after all? I reconsidered that question. Maybe a mouse wasn't much to most of us, but to Jennyanydots…She watches over that brood of mice like they're a litter of kittens. I think it's partly because her own kittens are practically grown up. I could hear her now: _"Guard those little mousies with your life!" _I cringed. All right, maybe this wasn't so good… I glanced at Etcy, who was looking up at me with big, scared eyes. I felt badly that she'd had to see something dead and bloody; kits shouldn't see that kind of thing.

"I'm sorry that happened, Etcy," I began gently.

"And Jenny will be so _upset!" _she wailed, cutting me off.

"Well, she'll be mad at me, not you." I frowned slightly. I'd kill Alonzo if he let _me _take all the blame…_he _should've been helping me patrol.

"Just come and see," the tortie sniffed. "Oh, it's _awful!"_

Well, that settled it. I had no choice but to go back on duty. A lot of cats would have just turned over and gone back to sleep, but I'd promised to take this job seriously, and I was.

We headed over to the little den that Jennyanydots had built for the little mice that she called 'her students.' It was her opinion that, rather than just being snatched up and eaten, mice deserved to be _taught. _They could learn to be good citizens, just as well as any cat. I somehow think Jenny missed the point; we eat mice because we _like _them, not because they're naughty or something…But no one had the heart to discourage her. So anyway, she'd taken in several mice and put them in their own little den, where they could keep out of mischief when they weren't having their 'lessons' with her. As we walked, Etcetera kept jumping up and down and talking. "I found some tracks in the dirt," she explained.

"What kind of tracks?" I was impressed that silly Etcy, who usually doesn't notice _anything _unless Tugger's shiny belt is attached to it, had been the one to find the tracks.

"Dog," she said decidedly.

"You sure one of our friends didn't just forget what Jenny said and…?"

"They're _pollicle _tracks," insisted the little queen, who looked as if she might cry. "You don't believe me? Well, I'll _show _you…"

"I believe you," I said quickly. "Just wanted to make sure." We reached the mice's den and, sure enough, there was the mouse lying on the ground, and she…he…_it _was still dead. I tried to think of what Munkustrap would do and walked around the body, sniffing it and checking the signs.

I noticed the position of the body and memorized every detail. The mouse was lying on its left side, pointing toward the northeast. Its mouth was open, and it appeared to me that she had lost her tail.

"Uh-huh, I'm beginning to see the pattern." I frowned. _Since when do dogs go for mice? _My fur bristled angrily. _It was to spite me, I know it. Think they can do whatever they want now Munk's gone. _

"What?" said Etcy eagerly. "Tell me, Quaxo, who did it?"

"Not yet. Where'd you see the tracks?" I glanced around. There weren't any around the corpse; ground was too hard. In fact, where in the junkyard _could _there be tracks? The ground was mostly cement… Etcetera took off in a run and I followed her to the junkyard's entrance. She stopped and pointed to some tracks.

"There they are, Quaxo, just where I found them. Are you proud of me?" I gave her a quizzical look, confused by the somewhat odd question, before glancing down at the tracks. Some creature had tracked through…food of some kind, and left marks on the pavement. I (gently) pushed Etcy aside and studied the sign, looked it over _very _carefully, sniffed it, gave it the full treatment. Then I stood up.

"Okay, I've got it now. It's all clear. Those are _badger _tracks, Etcy, not dog." Her eyes widened.

"What's a _badger?" _

I cleared my throat importantly. Though truth be told, I only knew about these creatures from what Munkustrap told me. _I'd _never heard of them until I took this job. "Big, furry animal with a striped face; kind of like a big cat—well, some of them might be smaller than us. They like to get into garbage and stuff, so they raid the junkyard every once in a while. I don't think they've ever bothered the mice before. But they're sneaky, you've got to watch them every minute. They must've attacked while I was out on patrol." Etcetera squinted at the tracks.

"Are you sure those are 'badger' tracks? They sure look like pollicle to me." How she got 'dog' from these tracks was beyond me. But then, she _was _only a kitten.

"You don't go by the _look, _Etcy, you go by the _smell." _I knew I was lecturing now, but I couldn't help sharing all my new knowledge. Munkustrap had seen to it that I learned everything possible about badgers. I didn't know they were such a problem until now! "This nose doesn't lie," I went on wisely. "If it says badger, you'd better believe there's a badger at the end of these tracks. And I'm gonna pay him a visit. Stay behind me and don't get hurt." I probably should've just left her there, but I kept thinking it'd be a bad idea for me to be alone with no one to go for help if anything went wrong… I walked out of the junkyard, the kitten following close behind, heading for the nearby nature park. I never lost the scent. In the heat of a chase, all my senses come alive and point like a blazing arrow toward the enemy. Not that I'd had to really chase an enemy before now…

In a way I felt sorry for the badger, even though he'd committed a crime and become my mortal enemy. With me on his trail, the little guy just didn't have a chance. One of the disadvantages of being as deadly as I am is that you sometimes find yourself in sympathy with the other guy.

But part of being Head of Junkyard Security is learning to ignore that kind of emotion. I mean, to hold down this job, you have to be cold and hard.

The scent was getting stronger all the time, and it didn't smell exactly like any coon Munkustrap and I had come across before. All at once I saw him. I stopped dead still and Etcetera, the little dummy, ran right into me and almost had a heart attack. I guess she thought I was a badger or something. It's hard to say what kittens think.

The badger was hiding in some bushes about five feet in front of me. I could hear him chewing on something, and that smell was really strong now.

"What's that?" Etcy whispered, sniffing the air.

"Badger, what do you think?" I glanced back at her. She was shaking with fear. "You ready to help me?"

"Yes," she squeaked, though I wasn't sure she even knew what I meant. _She's a _kitten, _you idiot! _

"All right, here's the plan," I said. "I'll jump him and try to get him behind the neck. If…things get bad…you run back to the 'yard and get help." There, I gave her a perfectly safe job, not asking her to fight or anything. "All right, let's move out." I crouched down and crept forward, every muscle in my highly conditioned body taut and ready for action. Five feet, four feet, three feet, two. I sprang through the air and hit right in the middle of the biggest stoat I ever saw.


	2. Musk: Just Part of the Job

_Musk: Just Part of the Job_

It was kind of a short fight. Coming down, I realized my mistake and tried to change course. Too late. Hey, not everyone can move so well in midair.

I lit right in the middle of him and _bam, _he released a terrible odor. My only comfort was that I was on _top _of the stoat, so he didn't spray the musk directly in my face. Sure did _stink, _though, brought tears to my eyes. I hollered for Etcetera to run for help, but she'd already disappeared.

I rolled off Mr. Stoat, who tried to come at me but I dodged, tore up half an acre of grass, and got out of there. As I made my way back to the junkyard, still coughing and sputtering from the awful smell, my thoughts went back to the murder scene and the evidence I had committed to memory.

It was all clear now. The stoat had nothing to do with the murder. Etcetera had found the first set of tracks she'd come to and started hollering about dogs. I'd been duped into believing the kit.

Yes, it was all clear. I had no leads, no clues, no idea who had killed the mouse. What I _did _have was a coat full of musk.

I went through the junkyard's entrance. Etcetera was waiting for me, though she backed up a couple paces and wrinkled her nose. "Ugh! You…"

"Yes, I stink," I said dully. "And _no, _that wasn't what we were looking for."

"What _was _it, a weasel? Yeah, it had to be a weasel." The kitten nodded wisely. "Victoria's heard about weasels…"

"Not weasel; stoat," I corrected.

"What's a stoat?" She frowned.

"Kind of like a weasel. Only it sprays stinky stuff out of its tail."

"What'd you go and attack a weasel-stoat for?" Etcy demanded. I was saved from replying. A rust tortoiseshell queen-kit came along just then. She's Etcetera's best friend, Electra. Sweet kit. She has the misfortune of being Plato's sister, but let me assure you that I do _not _hold it against her. One can't help who one's family is, after all. Anyway, Electra had her tail stuck straight up in the air and was rubbing along the fence by the 'yard entrance. Etcetera squealed and went to meet her. "'Lecci!" exclaimed the cream tortie breathlessly, "you'll never _believe _what happened—!" She took the other queen's paw and pulled her towards me. A look of utter disgust came across Electra's face.

"Ugh!" she exclaimed, holding her nose. "What's that _smell, _Quaxo?"

"Nothing you need to know about," I said firmly, giving Etcetera a look that said to leave the subject, and _now. _Unfortunately, most kittens can't seem to read that signal. Especially queens.

"You sure smell strange," Electra went on, backing up.

"Look," I said with all the patience I could muster, "why don't you two run along and mind your own business. I'm tired." If they were going to laugh at me, they could at least do it out of earshot.

"But what about the dead mouse?" Etcy demanded. _Oh, catnip._

"Dead mouse?" Electra exclaimed. "One of _Jenny's _mice?" Etcetera nodded.

"I couldn't sleep and went walking and found one of the mice dead," she explained, then went on to tell the whole story—including my humiliation.

"Ooh, Jenny's gonna be _mad," _said Electra when Etcy'd finished.

"Yes," I said, gritting my teeth, "we've already established that."

"But I want to know what you're going to _do _about it," Etcetera repeated. "Munkustrap gave you this job because he thought he could trust you to handle it."

"Yeah," Electra agreed. "First off, you _can't _just leave a dead mouse lying around!"

"And you'll still have to find the badger, or weasel, or stoat, or…whatever it was…who did it," Etcy added.

"_And _apologize a million times to Jenny and find her a new mouse and _promise _it'll never happen again!" Electra finished, with a dramatic sweep of her arm, as if she was trying to perform one of my magic tricks or something. I leaned forward with my head in my paws. Why _me? _

"Oh yeah," said Etcetera as an afterthought, "and you should get rid of that awful smell."

"Thanks," I muttered. This was all I needed; kittens trying to do my job for me. I needed to get out of here and get some alone time before I totally lost it. I knew I would have to move the mouse eventually, but something told me that if I did it before Jenny saw, she'd accuse me of trying to hide what happened or something. So I went off to my den to wait—and hope this smell would wear off soon.

It was sometime midmorning when Jennyanydots discovered the murdered mouse.


	3. An Enormous Monster

_An Enormous Monster_

I debated for a long time about what to do next. Should I hide out and play it safe, or go on down to the mouse den and get blamed for something that wasn't my fault?

Curiosity got the best of me and I trotted down to see what was going on. Tugger was already there when I arrived. So were Electra and Etcetera. Guess Tugger's curiosity got the best of him, and 'Lecci and Etcy followed him as usual. I walked up to him and said, out of the corner of my mouth, "Thanks for all the help this morning. I really appreciate it."

"That's okay, Quax." Tugger smirked. "It was nothing." Durn right it was nothing!

Alonzo was kneeling over the hen, studying the signs. Jennyanydots stood nearby, looking rather unhappy about the dead mouse. Alonzo ran his paw through his headfur and stood up. His eyes went straight to me and…I glanced around and noticed that Tugger and his entourage had disappeared. It was just me, standing in the spotlight.

"Quaxo, if you hadn't been yowling at pollicles all night, you might have prevented this. Why do you think we gave you this job?" Alonzo folded his arms and waited for a response. I glanced from him to Jenny. I knew I should be looking all contrite and whatnot, but with the injustice of it all, I couldn't. My ears flattened.

"I didn't know it was just _my _job," I muttered. "I was under the impression I'd have _help." _

"Well, of course we share the work," Alonzo sighed. I held back a snort. "Sorry, I probably should've helped you with the night patrol." Now he looked a bit sheepish.

"But you _did _offer," Jenny reminded me. That was true; well, sort of. I specifically remember saying that _we _could keep an eye on things at night; as in _both _protectors. Guess they missed that part. "Which makes this your responsibility, dear." She was doing a good job keeping herself under control, though her voice was rather strained. She turned to Alonzo. "And I think you _should _give him a bit more…guidance," she told him. "He's still new at this."

Alonzo nodded. "You're right. I don't want this to happen again," he told me. What did he suppose _I _wanted? Sometimes I just don't understand…oh, well.

The harlequin reached for the dead mouse. _"I'll _see to him," said Jennyanydots quickly, snatching up the carcass. Guess she was afraid we'd eat…_him. _The queen cradled the little thing in her paws and headed for the junkyard's entrance—I suppose she was going to bury him in the humans' public nature park. I wondered if I should warn her about the stoat. But surely he'd headed back to his forest by now. A run-in with me should've scared him off…right?

I hoped so. Alonzo nodded at me and said he was going to patrol the other side of the junkyard. At least this murder got his attention. I stayed put and tried to concentrate on the scene of the crime. I studied it again, went over the ground and sniffed it out. Nothing, no clues, no tracks, no scent. Could have been a pollicle, a badger, a stoat…even a weasel.

But there was one thing I was sure of. It wouldn't happen again, not while I was in charge of security, not as long as I could still stand up and fight for the junkyard. Funny, but I never thought I'd be defending the 'yard from a bunch of mouse thieves…I'd been thinking more along the lines of actual _danger, _say…Macavity. I shuddered.

Alonzo returned a short time later. "Get some sleep," he advised me. "Tonight we throw up a double guard." He looked embarrassed. "Listen, uh…sorry about last night. Won't happen again."

"Are we _really_ doing this?" I could help asking. "A double guard…because of some little animal that came in and killed a _mouse?" _ I looked around and lowered my voice. "Just because we don't want to face Jenny's wrath?" It sounded ridiculous, even as I said it.

"It's not just that," said Alonzo, reddening. _"Anything _could happen. We need to be on guard at all times. We'd need to, even if this _hadn't _happened."

"Okay. I know. Just wanted to hear it."

We slept till dark. When the moon came up, we went out on patrol, made several laps around the 'yard. Everything was quiet. Off in the distance we heard a few dogs, but they weren't anywhere close.

Must have been after midnight when Alonzo said we could rest a while. He settled down in front of the mouse den, but I wanted to keep on patrol. Alonzo said he'd sound the alarm if he saw anything unusual, and for me to do the same. I went around and checked everything, even though we'd done so a dozen times. I just _couldn't _let anything happen tonight. I ended up back at the mouse den about half an hour later. Alonzo sat there, still very much alert. Just then, I noticed movement nearby. I relaxed when I saw that it was just another Jellicle, though I wondered what anyone was doing awake. Whoever it was had their ears perked. They'd take about two steps and pounce on something with their front paws. Then they'd take two more steps and pounce again. I walked up behind the cat. "What are you doing?"

The cat—no, kit—screeched. It was Etcetera. I smothered her mouth with my paw, and she looked at me with big eyes. "Is that you, Quaxo?" _No, it's the boogie man…_

"Uh-huh. What were you doing?"

"Me? Oh…nothing."

It was then that I saw the cricket jump. "Playing with a cricket? In the middle of the night?" _When we have a murderer running around loose? _I wasn't dumb enough to say that part out loud. I _do _know something about what and what not to say to a kitten.

She hung her head slightly. "I got bored."

"Bored? You're supposed to be _sleeping."_

"Couldn't. I'm too scared of…whatever ate that poor mouse." Scared? And yet she was here, by herself, where 'whatever ate the poor mouse' could get at her? When she should be safe in her den with her family? Somehow that didn't fit. But she did look upset, anyway, and I sighed.

"Look, how about you come and keep watch with me and Alonzo for a while?" Her face brightened in an instant.

"Really?" she squealed. She was past me in an instant, standing in front of the mouse den and talking to Alonzo, making dramatic gestures with her arms. I gave a half-smile. She was pretty enthusiastic; might make a good protector someday, even if she _was _a queen. I approached the two, and Alonzo turned and frowned at me.

"What's this…?"

"She couldn't sleep," I murmured in his ear. "I told her she could keep watch with us. You'll be _very _good, won't you, Etcy?" I said, louder. She nodded her head vigorously. "Okay, I'm going to make the rounds again…"

"Want me to?" Alonzo offered quickly. I wasn't sure if he was still feeling bad about the night before—or if he wanted to escape Etcetera.

"That's okay, I will, I need to get my energy out," I said. I turned to the grinning queen-kit. "Now this is important," I told her. "I need you to pay close attention. If you see anything suspicious, give a yowl."

I started off on my rounds and left them sitting in front of the mouse den. I was checking around the Tire for badgers, when I heard someone sound the alarm.

I turned on my incredible speed and went tearing up the hill. I have several speeds, don't you see: slow, normal, and incredible. I save the last one for special emergencies. When I turn on the incredible speed, I appear as a streak of black moving across the ground. Anything that gets in my way is knocked aside, often destroyed. Before I'd even reached the den, I met Etcetera, with Alonzo close behind.

"Quaxo," she exclaimed, "I saw him, he's up there!" I had to slow down. Before saying anything, I gave a questioning look to Alonzo, who shook his head.

"No idea what she's talking about. I didn't see a thing."

"Give me a description," I told the kitten.

"Big, Quaxo, and I mean _big, _huge, enormous. All red, two glowing eyes that stare, and feet that spin, and no tail!" Alonzo got a funny look on his face, but didn't say anything.

"Good grief," I whispered, "what is it?"

"It's a _monster, _Quaxo, a _real _monster!"

I stopped to think it over. I'd never tangled with a monster before. "You think Alonzo and I can take him?" I glanced at the black-and-white.

"I don't know, Quaxo. But if anybody can, it's you." I raised an eyebrow, but nodded agreeably.

"You're right." I beckoned Alonzo closer. "Any ideas?" He nodded.

"Quaxo and I'll go in the first wave, make the first contact. We'll hold you in reserve. If we yell for help," he said, turning to Etcy, "you come running, get in there with those claws of yours and bite something. Got that?" Her eyes widened.

"You want _my _help?" she squeaked. I glared darkly at the older tom. Had he completely lost his marbles? Etcy cleared her throat and nodded. "I mean…yeah, I got it."

Alonzo took a deep breath. "And, Etcy, if I don't come back from this one, you and Quaxo will have to go on alone. Take care of the junkyard and be brave." I stared at him, and we turned and headed away.

"What's _wrong _with you?" I hissed at Alonzo. "Telling a kitten to fight! You…"

"Don't worry," he assured me. "I don't think we've got anything to worry about." I didn't know what he was talking about, but I didn't stop scowling either. I couldn't forgive him for putting Etcetera's life in danger.

We stopped and peered into the gloom. At first I couldn't see anything, but then my eyes fell on a huge shadowy thing standing just outside the junkyard's entrance.

Etcy hadn't exaggerated. It was a huge monster all right, and he looked like he was thinking of bursting in here at any moment. We didn't have a moment to waste. It was now or never, him or us, glory or death. I glanced at Alonzo, who nodded, though he still had that funny look on his face. We unsheathed our claws and attacked.

First contact was made only a matter of seconds after we launched the attack. The monster must have heard us coming, because he gave a jolt and sent us rolling. We leaped up and charged again, sinking our claws into its feet.

He was big all right, big as a house. I figured he stood, oh, eight feet tall, had four eyes, and an enormous nose that jutted out.

It was a fight to the death. "Come on, Etcy, attack!" Alonzo yowled before I could stop him.

I'll give that queen-kit credit. She came running through the gates, yowling at the top of her lungs, and bit into another of the monster's feet. All at once, the monster's eyes lit up. It made an awful noise. And then I knew what it was. _"Move!" _I bellowed, grabbing Etcy and high-tailing it back inside the junkyard. Alonzo followed, trying not to laugh but failing miserably.

"What was _that _about?" I howled once we were out of danger. I didn't care who I woke up now.

"Thought we could all use a laugh," said Alonzo meekly. Etcy giggled slightly.

"I…_thought _it was a monster," she said, looking up at me sheepishly. I ignored her. _She _didn't deserve to be verbally murdered, as I felt like doing to Alonzo. Verbally _and _physically.

"A laugh. So your idea of a laugh is nearly getting us run over by a big red truck?" I demanded. He merely shrugged.

"Didn't think it'd leave for a while."

"Some protector _you _are," I growled. "Maybe I _will _zap you with lightning…or turn you into one of Jenny's mice and _not _keep a patrol…"

"Umm, Quaxo?" Etcy tugged at my tail. I set my jaw and looked down at her.

"Yes?"

"I'm sleepy now, can you take me to my den?" I nodded. Anything to get away from the harlequin. I took the queen-kit by the paw and led her back to her den, shaking my head all the while. "Quaxo?" asked Etcy. I grunted. "Don't you think it was even a _little _funny?"

"If you hadn't been there, maybe…"

"I made it boring?" Her bottom lip poked out ever so slightly.

"Of course not," I said quickly. "I was just afraid you'd get run over."

"Oh." Apparently she hadn't thought of that. I patted her on the head and left her at the entrance of her family's den, then went to rejoin Alonzo. That didn't mean I had to talk to him, though.

I still might kill him.


	4. Another Bloody Murder

_Another Bloody Murder_

I slept late the next morning. To be completely honest about it, I didn't wake up till sometime in the early afternoon. Guess all that monster fighting tired me out. Ha. In any case, I woke up feeling pretty refreshed, and not altogether unhappy.

Then I remembered the mouse murder. I still didn't have any suspects, or I had too many suspects; maybe that was it. _Everyone _was a suspect, when you thought about it. After all, who in the junkyard wouldn't enjoy a nice, plump mouse? True, the mouse hadn't been eaten…But a cat doesn't always _have _to eat it. The chasing and catching part is fun enough. It'd be badly planned to leave the mouse lying around, in view of the fact that it was _Jenny's _mouse, but not everyone thinks things through as thoroughly as I do. Like I said, _everyone _was a suspect. Well, everyone but Jennyanydots; and if she _had _done it, none of this would matter anyway, since _she _was the one who cared so bloody much about those mice… But every other cat in the 'yard was under the shadow of suspicion, though I did have in mind some who would be more likely to do it than others. Or…it could have been a badger. Or that stoat. Or even a weasel.

After a breakfast of sardines, which I dug out of a junk pile, I trotted up to the mouse den and went over the whole thing in my mind. I had nothing to work with, no evidence, no case. There wasn't a thing I could do until the killer struck again. I could only hope that me and Alonzo could catch him in the act.

I decided to change my strategy, provided Alonzo had no objections. Instead of throwing a guard around the mouse den, we would use the stake-out approach.

"Stake-out" is a technical term which we use in this business. Well, I do, anyway. I'm not sure if Munkustrap ever did. But I found it in an old tossed-out book, and decided to keep it in mind. Webster defines "stake" as "a length of wood or metal pointed at one end for driving into the ground." It comes from the Anglo-Saxon word _staca, _akin to the Danish _staak._

"Out" is defined as "away from, forth from, or removed from a place, position, or situation." It comes from the Middle English _ut. _

That's about as technical as I can make it.

In terms that any cat can understand, a stake-out is basically a trap. You leave the mouse den unguarded, don't you see, and watch and wait and wait and watch until the villain makes his move, and then you swoop in and get him.

It's pretty simple, really, when you get used to the terminology.

I told Alonzo my plan, and he agreed; though he didn't seem to understand what was so important about finding out who the killer was. He accused me of being _obsessed, _when all we needed to do was make sure it never happened again, never mind who did it, blah blah blah.

I'm beginning to see why Munkustrap wouldn't trust Alonzo to handle this job on his own. What better way to 'make sure it never happened again', than to get rid of the one responsible?

Anyway, at dark, Alonzo and I staked the place out. We hid behind a junkpile maybe thirty feet from the mouse den.

Time certainly dragged. The first couple of hours we heard pollicles barking off in the city. After a while, Alonzo fell asleep.

I could have kept him awake, I mean, yanked his tail and _demanded _that he stay awake, but I decided to let it go. This was _my _idea, and I guessed I could keep watch and wake him up when the time came for action. At least he was good at that.

Then I fell asleep, but the funny thing about it was that I dreamed I was awake, sitting here and standing guard. I kept saying, "Quax, are you still awake?" And Quaxo said, "Sure I am. If I was asleep, you and I wouldn't be talking like this, would we?" And I said, "No, I suppose not."

It's kind of a waste of good sleep to dream about what you were doing when you were awake, but that's what happened.

I heard something squeal, and I said, "Quaxo, what's that?"

"Nothin'."

"You sure?"

"Sure I'm sure. You're wide awake and watching the stake-out, aren't you?"

"I think so, yes."

"Then stop worrying."

The squealing went on and the next thing I knew, Etcetera was beside me, jumping up and down. "Quaxo, oh, Quaxo, Alonzo, he's back, murder, help, blood, you fell asleep, hurry, wake up!"

"Huh? I'm not asleep." And right then my eyes popped open and I woke up. "Blast! I _was _asleep! I was afraid of that."

Alonzo and I dashed out from our hiding place, while Etcy ran blubbering beside us. _Why is _she _the one who keeps finding the dead mice?_ We found a body south of the mouse den's door. The M.O. was the same. (There's another technical term I found, M.O. It stands for _Modus of Operationus, _which means _how it was done. _I shorten it to M.O.)

A pattern began to emerge. The killer had struck twice and both times he had killed a tawny-colored mouse. (Actually, that might not have been a crucial point because there weren't any other-colored mice, but I mention it to demonstrate the kind of deep thinking that goes into solving a case of this type. You can't overlook a single detail, even those that don't mean anything.)

But the most revealing clue was that the murderer hadn't dragged his victim off. That meant that he hadn't killed for food, but only for the sport of it. In other words, we had a pathagorical killer on the loose.

This was very significant, the first big break in the case. At least I had an M.O. that narrowed the suspects down to…badgers, stoats, weasels, any cat in the 'yard…Blast, I hadn't eliminated anybody and I was right back where I started.

I hunkered down and studied the body. It was still warm. Warm mouse. My mouth began to water and I noticed a rumble in my stomach. I quickly backed off, seeing Alonzo shoot me a suspicious glare. _I can always find another one…_

"Etcy," said Alonzo abruptly, "why don't you go back to your den and get some more sleep."

"I'm not sleepy," she protested, "and it's time to get up anyway. Besides, aren't you gonna sound the alarm?" she added eagerly.

"Don't be silly," he growled. "You think we're going to get the whole junkyard into a panic?"

"Well, you've _got _to tell Jenny."

"Don't I know it," muttered the black-and-white. "Just…run off and play or something."

"But what…" Etcy seemed to rethink her question, and walked off, after waving cheerily at us. Alonzo spun to face me.

"Well, what do you propose we do about this, then?" he hissed.

"I…" I frowned in thought. I was still working on that…

"If we'd just guarded the den like normal, this wouldn't have happened," Alonzo went on.

"Yeah, so maybe a stake-out wasn't the best idea," I admitted. "But things could be worse. It could be cats getting killed. Jenny can always find more mice." Maybe that sounded…I don't know…irresponsible, insensitive…but it was true. This _wasn't _that big of a deal…not when you thought about it…

"Fine, tell that to Jenny," he growled. "And what makes you so certain that whatever killed the mice won't eventually kill a Jellicle?"

"I wish you'd stop laying this all on me," I snarled, pelt prickling in anger. "I wasn't the _only _one who fell asleep at my post. I'm not the _only _one who's supposed to be looking out for things. _I'm _not the one who slept all night and let this happen the _first _time!" Alonzo looked like he was about to yell back at me; then he seemed to change his mind and instead, sank down to the floor with a weary sigh.

"Quax…look, this isn't just about the mice, okay? Munkustrap's just really depending on us to keep this place in line…and it's only been a couple days…and already things are a mess. Sure, maybe it doesn't _seem _like a big deal. But being protectors means keeping the junkyard safe; meaning everything and everyone _in _the junkyard. And keeping intruders _out. Something's _intruding into the 'yard, Quaxo, and we've let them past us twice now." I folded my arms. Why was _he _lecturing _me? _Didn't he think the entire _point _of my stake-out had been to ensure that the 'intruder' _didn't _get past us—ever again?

"I guess I just don't know what needs to be done as well as you do," I said coldly. With a flick of my tail, I walked off. Away from the scene of the crime. Towards the junkyard entrance. I had to get out of here, if only for a little while.

Etcetera stuck her head out from behind a junkpile. I guess she'd been playing there. "Psst! Where you going?"

"Erm…" I trotted past. "Leaving," I mumbled. I guess I didn't have to put it so dramatically, but there you are. Etcy crept out, glanced around to see if anybody was watching, and came after me.

"Leaving?" She sounded panicked.

"Not really," I sighed, to ease her worries. "Just for a while, I mean. I need a break." Her jaw dropped.

"You can't do that!"

"It's only for a couple hours. I think you all can survive without me."

"You've got to be on duty at all times! What if the murderer comes back?" A new thought came to her, and her eyes widened to saucers. "What if _you _run into the murderer!"

"Then I guess I'll get rid of him," I said dryly.

"But what if the murderer's really strong and big and terrible? You don't even know what kind of creature the murderer is!" I winced. _Thanks for the reminder._ "So I'm coming with you," she finished.

"Huh? – No, you're not," I said firmly.

"Why not?" she pouted.

"Because they'll worry about you."

"Nuh-uh. Usually me and Electra and Vicki and Jemi don't even tell anyone where we're going. Sometimes we don't see our parents all day. No one minds."

"Won't your friends wonder where you are?"

"Nah, they'll probably just think I'm hiding somewhere. Please, can't I come, _please?"_ She looked up at me with pitiful kitten-eyes, and I considered. It wasn't like I was going off anywhere dangerous. I wasn't going to do anything rash, like try to find the killer (though that _had _crossed my mind). All I was doing was getting away, and I guessed I could manage Etcy well enough. She'd probably just follow me anyway.

"All right," I said finally. "But don't make a nuisance of yourself, yeah?"

"Oh, I _won't!" _I walked out of the 'yard, and she bounced along beside me as if this were the most exciting thing in the world.


End file.
